September 10th 2010

Letters to Mommy                                                                                          September 10^th 2010

Its 5am, I can’t sleep. I should be calling you to say whats up since I can’t sleep. Normally you would be sipping your coffee on the settle with Little mouse on top of you. You are the only one who can get her to come out. Im trying its not working! God knows I miss you. I miss your touch. I miss hugging and holding you. I know I should have stayed. I painfully and always will regret ever leaving you. I was stupid stupid stupid. As I always am. God please know how much I love you momma. Please forgive me for me stupidity. I never saw this coming, I saw the signs and I ignored them because I got scared. You were trying to tell me something and I laughed it off and walked away. I am so painfully sorry I ever left you. You were and are my life. I will never stop loving you and my love grows each day. I can’t believe I survived a week without you. I never thought I would lose you ever, none the less so sudden and so soon. I pray you were comforted by your mother and father and were not alone. I feel you in my heart I feel you in my daily actions. I will strive to keep your spirit alive and allow you to live through me. I will teach my children to love the way you loved. I will pride myself on the fact that if they grow up to be good responsible loving caring citizens that that is more important than money gifts or anything else. I hope I never let you down. I love you. I read your journals and I know you left them for me. I feel comfort in your words. Please don’t ever leave me. I love you more mom! “you have no idea”

                Sara